With the holidays closing in faster than Rudolph on a sugar rush, we’ve now officially entered what the reindeer call “Mush-Time”… and the Claus has got no room for error on his team!
That’s why the week of December 20th, we’ll be devoting our entire agenda to the training and initiation of Santa’s most promising, up-and-coming little helpers. It’s called “Elf Week”… and it isn’t for the feeble-footed. As the name implies, it separates the Oafs from the Elves, building character and moral fiber with each event!
So how does one train for such a rigorous week? You could practice by bobbing for halibut, or birthing a set of reindeer twins. You might even try brushing up on your coal-mining skills for Santa’s Naughty List. But you’ll be glad to know, as a loyal Elfster blog reader, you’ll get an extra leg up in the competition.
In honor of Elf Week, we’ll be showing you a slew of helpful tips, tricks and holiday advice right here on Wish Fulfillment, the Elfster blog! As the event approaches, keep your eyes peeled for our fun and informative series of posts called “Elf-Help”.
In the meantime, here’s a sneak peek at Elf Week 2010’s calendar of events:
DAY 1: The Rookies n’ Milk Marathon
(Elf-Help: Food and Drink)
Part Iditarod, part competitive eating challenge, the Rookies n’ Milk Marathon takes recruits over the river, through the woods and straight into tummy-ache tundra, with a 26-mile course of cookie trays and milk mugs. Get ready to carbo-load last year’s fruitcake…This one’s a doozy!
DAY 2: The Wrapping Paper Relay
(Elf-Help: Gifting and Presentation)
Putting the finishing touches on a gift takes some serious stamina on the part of the elf. We call it “Wraptitude”… The willingness to risk paper cuts and hand strain, entanglement in miles of transparent tape, possible dismemberment by a pair of runaway scissors… all to secure the secrecy and integrity of goodies within. Elves, take note. The Wrapping Paper Relay is no twirl of the baton!
DAY 3: The Lumberjack Jamboree
(Elf-Help: Holiday Tips for Guys)
We admit, sometimes “Christmas Cheer” is about as masculine as a tree-skirt. But life isn’t always a basket full of potpourri balls… That’s why Santa wants his elves to remember that He-Men love the holidays as much as the rest of us! The Lumberjack Jamboree is a full day devoted to the “beefing-up” of the holiday season. From sawing Yule logs, to splitting giant cinnamon sticks like timber, this event is sure to give the elves’ beards some bristle!
DAY 4: The Reindeer Rally
(Elf-Help: Pet Care)
Pet care is especially important during the holiday season, so start swabbing the stables! Elves will vie to see who has the “Best in SNOW” for this fur-flying, reindeer-grooming portion of the week. The event will ensure that all reindeer are in tippy-top condition for upcoming press junkets and talk show appearances, and teach the elves to be “one with the beasts” throughout the year!
DAY 5: The Mall Duty March
(Elf-Help: Holiday Shopping)
Unquestionably the most challenging of the event’s proceedings, the Mall Duty March boils the entire week down to one, critical question… Who can yell “Dibs!” the loudest? Elves will vie to stake claims on the season’s hottest items, and elbow their way though mobs of irritable imps… all while posing for pictures in smiles the size of Canada. (Better be on your mistletoes for this one!)
DAY 6: The Whippersnapper Round-up
(Elf-Help: Kids and Parenting)
No elf wants to break it to a parent that their little sweetheart is sitting pretty at the top of the year’s “Naughty List”. (Notifying next-of-kin is a task that puts the pint-sized bearers of bad news in obvious physical peril.) In the Whippersnapper Round-up, elves will pull out all the stops to keep kids on the right track for the holidays… Fluency in lisp is highly recommended.
DAY 7: The Glitter Gala …A Green-Tie Affair!
(Elf-Help: Party-Planning and Decoration)
In the Grand Finale of a fun-filled week, we’ll welcome the North Pole’s newest initiates with a fancy-pants dinner and official naming ceremony. To mark the occasion, we’ve ordered enough confetti to fill a Finland-sized snow globe, and so much glitter the team will be shaking it from their hair well into the New Year! So put on your penguin suits and knock back an eggnog… This’ll be the night we celebrate a Christmas well done!
Remember, Elf Week is no frolic around the mulberry bush. So stay tuned to the blog and on Elfster.com for those helpful hints!