By now, we all know Santa’s stance on pouting, shouting and crying. (Apparently, we “better not!”) But we also know that one bad trip to a seasonal shopping mall is enough to make even Tiny Tim go postal. So what’s an elf to do when the stress boils over like a hot chocolate gone wrong? Use these simple relaxation tricks, of course!
At Elfster, we’ve been through enough holiday shopping seasons to know that deep, cleansing breaths simply won’t cut it when someone cuts in line. And there’s no mantra in the world that’ll make parking a delight. So you can chant a soothing “ho ho ho” if it’s any fun for you, but for the best stress management at the mall, here’s what we suggest:
Wheezey Does It
Losing your breath in the retail race can have your chest feeling tighter than Santa’s tummy in a man girdle. But when you start to hyperventilate, don’t panic! Bloomingdale’s Big Brown Bag doubles as a pretty nice respiratory aid. A few puffs in and out, and you’ll be back on your pointed little feet again in no time!
Follow Your Nose
There’s a lot to be said for the benefits of aromatherapy. (New car smell rarely induces road rage, we’ve noticed.) So when you’re feeling particularly tense at the mall, make use of the smells around you to bring you back to your senses. Whether it’s the enticing scents emanating from the food court, or the fragrant wares of The Yankee Candle Company, take a hearty whiff and don’t be shy!
Pass the Buck
If you’re going to rid yourself completely of disposable income this Christmas, you might as well cast-off some emotional baggage along with it! Before shopping, take some time to write your holiday woes and worries on the dollar bills in your wallet. (These concerns can be anything from your mild party-planning insecurities, to your recurrent yearly phobia of tacky sweaters.) Then, purge the negativity by spending your troubles away!
Season’s Greeters
If anyone’s more exhausted than you at the mall, it’s the employee manning the door at the most popular retailer. Day in and day out they greet– smiling with clenched cheeks until they lose feeling in their face, repetitively informing shoppers of the same holiday deal for hours on end. At times like these, a little empathy goes a long way. Approach the hapless grinning greeter and simply extend your hand in a high-five. Without saying a word, you’ll lift their spirits and yours.
Reconnect with Santa
If all else fails and the holiday hubbub still has you down, just know that you’ve always got one guy who’s ready to lend an ear! Too bad your shrink is off for the holidays… But the next best option at the mall is of course, Santa. Get in line, and ignore the strange looks from parents. Step on up and unload your problems on Dr. Claus… He’ll be there all week!
Elf Week is closing in fast, but that’s no reason to sweat the Mall Duty March. With these calming tricks under your belt, we’re sure you’ll be keeping your cool better than an igloo!
This is hilarious. I think have to run before I wet my pants from laughing out loud for such a sustained long period! OMG!!!