Your father isn’t one to embrace new-fangled fashions or contemporary concepts, and some days, you’d swear he takes actual pleasure in embarrassing you and your siblings. But remember, this is the guy who taught you to ride a bike and haggle with a car salesman. The one who selflessly disclosed his top-secret mac and cheese recipe because you wanted to show-off at the company picnic. The guy who taught you more than you wanted to know about lawn-mowing and Murphy’s Law. Don’t you think it’s time to return the favor and teach Dad a few tips of your own?

To help bring him up to speed this Father’s Day, Elfster has a list of free activities to make modernizing Dad fun… He might even thank you for it later!

1. Set up Dad’s Facebook Account (or Revamp the One He Has)

You’ve avoided it long enough. This Father’s Day, take the time to walk Dad through the daunting online profile-building process, and help him send his first friend request. We shouldn’t have to tell you this, but don’t decline Dad when he friends you! The world will not end if your father finds out you like the Stones and not the Beatles (though he  will  be a little disappointed.)

2. Take New Pictures for the Wallet

You’d better believe Dad still carries around your fourth-grade school portrait, and yes, he’s still proud to show it off to the neighbors! Now that the braces have come off, and the overbite corrected, you might consider gifting dad with a more flattering image of yourself to share with his friends. (Just be sure to confiscate the older version.)

3. Introduce Dad to the Wonderful World of YouTube

Spend the afternoon catching your father up on the best viral videos of the past several years. If he’s missed out on this key facet of pop culture over the previous decade, you two will doubtlessly share a few laughs. Plus, Dad will finally understand what’s so funny about a “Double Rainbow”.

4. Help Revamp His Vocab

With a handy cheat sheet of modern day expressions, Dad is sure to pick-up some catchphrases that are a little more current than the preferred “You da man!” Laminate a pocket-sized list of definitions for Pops to use as easy reference.

5. Teach Dad How to Skype

A good old-fashioned phone call will never go out of style. But a simple video conferencing service might make Dad’s timeless words of wisdom a bit easier to convey (with the added benefit of visual demonstration!) Show Dad the ropes on Skype, and enjoy your quality time like never before.

6. Find the Perfect Pair of Jeans

Dads aren’t immune to the dangers of denim. “Mom jeans” certainly have earned a bad rap in the fashion world, but believe it or not, “Dad jeans” are becoming an equally egregious infraction. Since he’d rather not go to the mall on his hard-earned day off, bring the shopping experience to Dad this Father’s Day. Buy a couple of updated jean options for him to try on in the comfort of his own man cave, and let him pick the pair he likes. You can return the rejects.

7. Set up an Elfster account!

Remember the time Dad got you the Air Supply Greatest Hits album for Christmas? Well, it could have been avoided if he only had access to your Elfster wishlist. Give your Father the gift of gifting by taking the guesswork out of future holiday shopping.

Sure. These Father’s Day activities are no substitute for a sweet new pair of socks. And we don’t recommend attempting the entire list in one afternoon. (Dad is pretty cool already, and probably doesn’t need a  complete  overhaul quite yet.) But when used as a supplement to the perfect card-and-gift-combo, you can be sure that trying some of these bonding activities will make for one meaningful day for Dad.

Happy Father’s Day!

Photo credit: Kennymatic , Volantra,  ElvertBarnes

• I invented the Naughty List…

• People tell me I look like Cupid.

• You bring out the Yeti in me!

• I don’t wiggle my ears for just anyone, you know.

• Tiny hands give better backrubs.

• I think I just got struck by Cupid’s antler… And yes, I mean “antler”.

• Is it chilly in here? ‘Cuz you give me snow flurries!

• Santa’s busy… You can sit on my lap!

• My nose may be cold, but my heart is warm.

• There’s no height limit on love!

We could go on, but let’s hear some of your best elf pick-up lines!

Photo credit: Rainbow Photos!

In celebration of all things “dude”, today we hold an event so manly, so swaggering, that the only price for admission is a well-articulated grunt.  But be forewarned…  The Lumberjack Jamboree is no hayride!

If all this “He-Elf” talk has got you just the teensiest bit intimidated, you might want to read-up on how to beef-up your Christmas holiday. To put some hair on your chin, we recommend a heaping helping of these hearty Elfster blog articles:

Man-Up at the Mall: A Guy’s Holiday Game Plan

Left-Brain Tips for the Right “Guy” Gift

DIY for Dads

Now, back to our live coverage of the Lumberjack Jamboree…

Current Standings

Splitting a Sequoia-sized candy cane with a single swing of the axe put Elf Ed in an early lead this morning. Secure in his First Place position, Ed has now moved on to the “Mulberry Bush Massacre”. Here, he must not only resist the urge to skip around the bush, but also uproot it with his bare hands, hurling it straight into next Christmas!

Second Place belongs to Elf Steph who is busy whittling a deluxe set of Lincoln Logs as we speak. She may have nimble fingers, but her determination is as stoic as Honest Abe himself.

Elf Julie is working her way into Third Place sawing Yule Logs like there’s no tomorrow. But with her skillful hacking hand, she might just come back for a surprise victory!

Stay tuned for more Elf Week coverage in the next few days. Tomorrow’s event: The Reindeer Rally!

Photo credits: kevindooley , Darin Barry

Okay, okay. There’s really no way to prove that one. But like every other wife or girlfriend in the history of holidays, we’re sure it crossed her mind at one point or another.  The Strong-Silent-Type isn’t one to gush over his wish list, and even Mr. Sensitive tends to clam up when pressed for what he really wants. Still, ladies typically approach the task of guy- gifting with an emotional, intuitive philosophy, believing their male counterparts secretly pine away for the neckties of their dreams.

We don’t know about all that, but we do believe that in order to shop for a guy, you have to think like a guy. This means using your “Left Brain”, ladies… Getting downright analytical!  We took it upon ourselves to design a few simple, pseudo-scientific experiments to help Elfettes discover what their husbands and boyfriends really want this holiday season… whether they know it or not!

For the Musical Man:

You’d love your gift to hit the right chord, but are also having a hard time pinning-down his musical tastes. To figure out what he likes, first make a mix-tape of various options. Try to cover as many genres as possible. Since it’s pretty much proven that no guy can keep his hands off his girlfriend’s radio on a road trip, go for a long drive and pop-in the tunes. Observe which bands he flips through and which ones he’ll let ride. You’ll sort out his favorites in no time!

For the Scented Stallion:

Can’t decide which cologne is a musk-have? Get a few free sample cards at the department store and take them home. Rub each specimen vigorously on a different shirt in his closet. (Try to keep it a controlled experiment by choosing identical or similar-looking shirts.) Give the cultures a few days to mature, then sit and wait to see which shirt (and which scent) he’s compelled to wear first… You’ll have a winner!

For the Late Sleeper:

Shopping for PJ’s, but not sure if he wants flannel or fleece? Try to coax it out of him in his sleep. Whisper sweet nothings of natural fibers and poly-cotton blends into his ear, and see how he responds to each suggestion. If he’s not much of a sleep talker, establish a code to decipher his answers (one snore for “Yes”, two snores for “No”.) On Christmas morning, he’ll think his pajamas were custom-made!

For the Bookworm:

Knowing what he’ll read next is like trying to pick his fantasy football team… It’s a highly personal, sensitive subject. To make an educated guess, however, see what he’s got on his shelves right now. Distinguish his favorite authors by quantifying their frequency on the ledge. Now, in selecting a gift, do not make the mistake of choosing another title by the most popular writer.  Rather, use that information to research other authors similar to the ones seen on his shelf. This can be done on any search engine easily.  But if you want to feel just a little more empirical, simply plug in the name to this uber-scientific database on similarauthors.com! Then buy your guy a “starter collection” of his new favorite author’s work. When he finally reads these well-picked publications, he’ll doubtlessly applaud your obscure taste in literature!

For the Techie:

There may be some jaw-dropping advances in modern technology, but you can always fall back on good old-fashioned reverse psychology to help you pick the perfect gadget for your sweetie. While watching television, or flipping through seasonal print ads together, be overtly (and vocally) critical of every must-have item you see. Don’t hold back! Lambaste that cool knew Smartphone… Let the handheld wireless reading device really have it… Make the big-screen 3-D television set feel like it’s about an inch tall! Now, you can observe without bias which item he defends most passionately. If it’s worth disputing you over, you can safely deduce that he probably wants it pretty bad!

There you have it.  The Left-Brained mentality above will certainly prove practical when shopping for your handsome Honey Bunny. But it’ll also give you a leg-up in the Lumberjack Jamboree when Elf Week pops up on the calendar.

Still, if all this thinking like a guy just makes you want to light a scented candle, log onto Elfster.com and set up your own wish list!

Photo Credits: Pasucaru76, Marcin Wichary, lindsay.dee.bunny

They needed too much attention?  Were too much into themselves?  More attention than one can give? This Vanity Mirror is available at Signals for $50.

Bring up the topic of commitment and babies at Valentine’s Day breakfast and wait for that silent panic. Then serve him his Please Help Me Toasts ($3).  Maybe he’ll appreciate the ‘laugh with you’ humor?

Then bring up the topic of commitment and babies again.

A memoir that is more of a guide to many lost pastime arts, like how to tan a skin or palm a coin or learn the Latin phrases that every boy should know. Or a collection of wisdom about useless skills such as how to write in invisible ink – along with useful skills, like how a boy can prepare himself for his inevitable encounters with girls.

The Dangerous Book for Boys, $15

Bring up the topic of commitment and babies at Valentine’s Day breakfast and wait for that silent panic. Then serve him his Please Help Me Toasts ($3).  Maybe he’ll appreciate the ‘laugh with you’ humor?

Then bring up the topic of commitment and babies again.

Fred wants huge, manly shoulders and pecs. What did you think ‘huge’ described, huh? Lift Salt + Pepper Shakers could also work as a gentle reminder for getting back to the gym. $15